To Wii, Or Not To Wii...
The following erratic document might cause some of you to become mentally challenged or at least question the sanity of the poster in one way or another... you almost may notice like many major movie's at the moment the general feel/theme/story might change completely at times running the continuity of the story... don’t worry, at least I’m not charging you to read this...
Mwahaha.
And onto the main attraction!
Prepare to enter a world un-like any you have ever encountered... a strange place that offers so much yet delivers so little... a place where you go to fulfil your dreams... or escape from the night-mare that is your life... welcome...
To The Game Store...
*Inserts Totally Awesome Theme Music Courtesy Of the London Symphony Orchestra and some no-name wannabe white-boy rapper... gangster... something... (Gotto keep that shiz real yo'... fo' the kidz... n' stuff... yeah... fo' reals)
Yes Ghetto *Cough*
Crouching down behind the cash-desk, I struggle to catch a few breathes, clutching my chest for a moment... it feels as if this could be the end... oh sweet, sweet release..
How I had longed for the moment to be free from this existence! The monotony of it all! Huzzah Huzzah!
Indigestion... you cruel bastard...
It's only a moments respite before the next one asks... that horrible question...
Do You have Any Wii's?!
When Do You Expect Your Next Delivery?!
CAN I PAY FOR IT NOW?!
OMFG YOU ARE SO UNFAIR, WHY CANT I GET ONE NOW?!
Wah Wah.
I can see the out-line of it when I close my eye's... it's stalking me... It wants me to buy one... but no... I must resist the temptation...
I have seen what it has done to the minds of the weak... the easily persuaded I must be strong...
As if in a scene from some post-apocalyptic zombie movie where mindless creatures stalk the earth in search of Braiiiins, they come scratching at the door... tooth and claw.
If only they would spend their hard-earned cash on some soap once in awhile... perhaps some Head & Shoulders!
Dear god the smell, the smell!
I have never in my life wished more for a shot-gun to be placed underneath my desk... if not for the customers short-comings but more with which to end my own-life in an attempt to escape the barrage of questions relating to Wii-Motes and Nunchuk's (You need both?! but that's nearly £50 I cant afford that, I think I’ll buy a PS3 instead that's totally more affordable...*Drools* I'm a Happy Consumer!)
Please... just die... slowly.
The hungry masses require sustenance in another form, rather than fleshy goodness to feed their unholy spawn they require something far more commercially evil.
Wii's...
Only one man can take so many urine related jokes a day... before something snaps.
I totally see the appeal of the Wii, its ability to make you look like a complete sausage while still being entertaining for you and others makes it an instant win with:
"I'm totally putting the video of (Insert Generic Persons Name Here) On You Tube!)
"Alcohol + Wii + New TV = Insurance Claim"
"I Didn't hit her officer, we just bought a Wii *Smile*"
But for the love of god... please, just remember... it's a freaking game...
Your life will not end if you don’t get to play on it, and stop bullying your parents into getting one... they have to deal with enough having to live with you let alone running around and 8:45 in the morning knocking at my door just on the off-chance I can sell them something just so you can pretend to be exercising while playing!
Seriously I’d rather you ended up hanging yourself in a teen-angst filled rage due to your lack of a Wii and the fact that all your friends are totally better than you because they bought Wii’s when they were in-stock and not when you wanted one just because it'd be "Cool" to have one.
Oh god I almost felt like I was ranting for a moment there... it must be some deep down emotional problem I have in relation to the Wii, Therapy should sort that out in a few years..
Or I’ll have an episode or something resulting in the death/maiming of my co-workers/customers... I wondered why we only have safety scissors in the store.
Also if you just want the Wii so you can play Trauma Centre with something bigger than a DS Pen... at this point in time it'd be quicker/cheaper just to get a plastic knife/spoon and a hobo, same thing...
Seriously.
Probably more fun.
To any of you that are desperately hunting for Wii’s at the moment, my heart goes out to you, that and a hatred for the people that are making you search for them... those cruel little bastards, they don’t know the suffering you must go through to get what they want!)
But remember if your so desperate as to take extreme measures to get one, and your too proud to blow your money on eBay... because no one really want's to give ebayers an excuse to do this next year *Cough*
A day-trip to France isn't that costly and your sure as hell more likely to get a Wii from there than you are here right now, saying that... at least with eBay you don’t have to have direct contact with the French..
It’s a catch 22 situation!
Nooo!
(P.S. I really like French people... *Cough*)
Btw Sab... I may have some screws loose.. but atleast..
Mwahaha.
And onto the main attraction!
Prepare to enter a world un-like any you have ever encountered... a strange place that offers so much yet delivers so little... a place where you go to fulfil your dreams... or escape from the night-mare that is your life... welcome...
To The Game Store...
*Inserts Totally Awesome Theme Music Courtesy Of the London Symphony Orchestra and some no-name wannabe white-boy rapper... gangster... something... (Gotto keep that shiz real yo'... fo' the kidz... n' stuff... yeah... fo' reals)
Yes Ghetto *Cough*
Crouching down behind the cash-desk, I struggle to catch a few breathes, clutching my chest for a moment... it feels as if this could be the end... oh sweet, sweet release..
How I had longed for the moment to be free from this existence! The monotony of it all! Huzzah Huzzah!
Indigestion... you cruel bastard...
It's only a moments respite before the next one asks... that horrible question...
Do You have Any Wii's?!
When Do You Expect Your Next Delivery?!
CAN I PAY FOR IT NOW?!
OMFG YOU ARE SO UNFAIR, WHY CANT I GET ONE NOW?!
Wah Wah.
I can see the out-line of it when I close my eye's... it's stalking me... It wants me to buy one... but no... I must resist the temptation...
I have seen what it has done to the minds of the weak... the easily persuaded I must be strong...
As if in a scene from some post-apocalyptic zombie movie where mindless creatures stalk the earth in search of Braiiiins, they come scratching at the door... tooth and claw.
If only they would spend their hard-earned cash on some soap once in awhile... perhaps some Head & Shoulders!
Dear god the smell, the smell!
I have never in my life wished more for a shot-gun to be placed underneath my desk... if not for the customers short-comings but more with which to end my own-life in an attempt to escape the barrage of questions relating to Wii-Motes and Nunchuk's (You need both?! but that's nearly £50 I cant afford that, I think I’ll buy a PS3 instead that's totally more affordable...*Drools* I'm a Happy Consumer!)
Please... just die... slowly.
The hungry masses require sustenance in another form, rather than fleshy goodness to feed their unholy spawn they require something far more commercially evil.
Wii's...
Only one man can take so many urine related jokes a day... before something snaps.
I totally see the appeal of the Wii, its ability to make you look like a complete sausage while still being entertaining for you and others makes it an instant win with:
"I'm totally putting the video of (Insert Generic Persons Name Here) On You Tube!)
"Alcohol + Wii + New TV = Insurance Claim"
"I Didn't hit her officer, we just bought a Wii *Smile*"
But for the love of god... please, just remember... it's a freaking game...
Your life will not end if you don’t get to play on it, and stop bullying your parents into getting one... they have to deal with enough having to live with you let alone running around and 8:45 in the morning knocking at my door just on the off-chance I can sell them something just so you can pretend to be exercising while playing!
Seriously I’d rather you ended up hanging yourself in a teen-angst filled rage due to your lack of a Wii and the fact that all your friends are totally better than you because they bought Wii’s when they were in-stock and not when you wanted one just because it'd be "Cool" to have one.
Oh god I almost felt like I was ranting for a moment there... it must be some deep down emotional problem I have in relation to the Wii, Therapy should sort that out in a few years..
Or I’ll have an episode or something resulting in the death/maiming of my co-workers/customers... I wondered why we only have safety scissors in the store.
Also if you just want the Wii so you can play Trauma Centre with something bigger than a DS Pen... at this point in time it'd be quicker/cheaper just to get a plastic knife/spoon and a hobo, same thing...
Seriously.
Probably more fun.
To any of you that are desperately hunting for Wii’s at the moment, my heart goes out to you, that and a hatred for the people that are making you search for them... those cruel little bastards, they don’t know the suffering you must go through to get what they want!)
But remember if your so desperate as to take extreme measures to get one, and your too proud to blow your money on eBay... because no one really want's to give ebayers an excuse to do this next year *Cough*
A day-trip to France isn't that costly and your sure as hell more likely to get a Wii from there than you are here right now, saying that... at least with eBay you don’t have to have direct contact with the French..
It’s a catch 22 situation!
Nooo!
(P.S. I really like French people... *Cough*)
Btw Sab... I may have some screws loose.. but atleast..
Atleast i can stop playing that game...
*Hums E.L.O'S Mr Blue Sky* Daylight Ftw Sab... Ftw
In Yo' Face! *Dance*
